i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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