I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
