I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
