This girl is more easily done than said...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
