It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
