so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
