brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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