its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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