i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
NoShamevember. You game?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
