so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
