i barfeds in our rink
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
