One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
