And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
