Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
