opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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