I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Come on in and take your pants off
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