I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
