why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
