Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
