she was so not down for the gang bang
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
