Having a random hookup so left but love u
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
