I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
