There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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