I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
