You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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