$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
