Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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