At least make sure they are 18
Why
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think a kid would responsible me up
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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