To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
