Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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