I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
