I want to stick my p in your. b.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
