Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
...so i touched it.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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