if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
