I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
