I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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