One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
