Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
