The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
