oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
