It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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