you would pick up someone in the library
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
