its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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