You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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