my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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