Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
