every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
