guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
