bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
