I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
