walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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